Perfectionism.

Change it, no, go back, add a little more detail, no, go back, maybe I need a plan B too? These are the thoughts that constantly enter my mind when performing a task. The need to aim for perfection was instilled in me by my strict parents, from a young age, and it seemed fruitful. I was rewarded with pocket money for good grades, my boss praised my meticulous nature, my strict health and fitness routine did wonders for my mind and body, and so on. Naturally, you would think the benefits of my perfectionism tendencies out weigh the costs, but they don't, to some extent. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for the qualities that I have picked up along the way, but I do think it's important to play devils advocate here and explore both sides of perfectionism: the good and the bad.

Perfectionism has a unique way of adapting into a 'chameleon of emotions' on our soul. Anxiety and egotistic behaviours are just some of the unintended consequences it bestows onto us. From a logical perspective, humans shouldn't even bother with perfectionism. From a young age, we are all told that there's no such thing as perfect, in fact, some religions consider the notion of human perfection to be blasphemies! So, why do we try to achieve something that we know doesn't exist? The definition of delusion describes this behaviour well.

I mean, since we all know this, why don't we aim to do our best and still be satisfied if we don't succeed, because we did OUR best? No, capitalism makes no room for 2nd place, and why should it? Globalisation and recent advancements in technologies has equipped nations and its citizens with the armour to be successful. Just look at India, who has experienced a 16% rise in GDP per capita from 2020, partially due to the reasons above.

Society bombards us with clear instructions to be beautiful, rich, and likeable, oh and don't worry, if you fail to meet those standards, you will surely be reminded. Just turn on your social media and you will be guaranteed to see a glowing LinkedIn post from your peer who secured the dream job you failed to get, or announcements of engagements, new homes and cars on Instagram. It is relentless, and there is no doubt this does harm to our self-esteem and diminishes the intrinsic value we attach to ourselves.

Below, I explore some of the causes of perfectionism.

Capitalism, Perfectionism and the Labour Market

Improvements in productivity, innovation, expansionary fiscal policies, and global competition has increased the attractiveness of attending University. Grants and student loans has granted children from poorer backgrounds the chance to attend University and therefore improve their job prospects, salary and so on. Working class students now compromise 20% of undergraduates at top UK Universities. Sounds great, right? 

I remember speaking to a friend who was adamant that back in the old days, anyone could just walk into a store, hand their cv in and start working the SAME day. Now, a degree, cv, cover letter, video interview and psychometric tests will likely get you an automated rejection email, if you're lucky.

The market is over- saturated with intelligent graduates who have perfectly followed all the steps in the 'rule book' of success to securing a job but fail to do so. What is worse, some of the ways to determine whether or not a job is offered is simply not afforded to most students. Just look at the rise in the opportunities for nepo babies and un-paid (or poorly paid) internships.

Perfectionism in Childhood

I am sure, children of strict parents, like me, have clear memories of the consequences and criticisms that were attached to the results of a subpar grade. There is no doubt that our childhood experiences have a huge role in framing the person we grow up to be. Parents who adopt to have a 'dictator' style approach are more likely to raise children with perfectionism tendencies when compared to those who have a relaxed and laid-back approach.

In my case, perfectionism was a form of self-love, I always felt and still do feel happy when I achieve something great, no matter how little or small. The ego of the human mind does not discriminate, and it doesn't in my case. Perfectionism was a defence mechanism to the strict parenting I received. Nevertheless, I did take away some good qualities, such as discipline, perseverance and no-nonsense attitude (when needed). I now aim for 'normal perfectionism' - aiming to do my best, but not being so self-critical when the desired outcome is not achieved. 

Clearly, there are many reasons why humans seek perfection, some of which are out of our control. We have to fight it with rational thoughts, use our cognitive abilities and most importantly, remind ourselves that striving to reach something that does not exist: perfectionism, is illogical.